And, I assume, crazy is genetic....
Life can many times be crazy. For everyone. Regardless of your walk and circumstances in life, we all get a special dose of craziness heaped upon us at times. Sometimes the craziness makes me, well.. crazy. What do I do, do i do anything, how do I respond? To be honest, I, many times, respond with my own specially brewed batch of craziness.
Prior to moving into international ministry, I was able to keep my craziness somewhat contained. I truly believe that in America, we are subtly taught to wear masks every day to match our perception of what the world arounds us thinks is normal. Moving to Indonesia blew that ability out of the water. The perception is warped - a somewhat moving target - and mask wearing is not all that easy.
Many of us here refer to our small expat community as a bubble. The bubble we work in, play in,pray in, and overall where we reside. It has its benefits, but also its drawbacks. Sometimes the bubble makes you crazier. You tend to respond at times with a "What in the world?" take instead of one of grace and love. Oops. Many times, you don't know your crazy until much later. Oops again.
So what to do? How do you handle the craziness that life offers? Why are you asking me? I just told you I was crazy! But now I just kind of embrace the crazy.
God made me this way - all the bumps and warts. AND... He is working them out in His time. I am so grateful for this work. It molds me into a more Christ-like image. However, no less crazy.
If you look at a situation and think through what your responses should be - know this - my potential responses are not even on your list! Why? Because you are not crazy? Nope, it is just because my brand of craziness is unique. Oh yes, I am one of a kind. Don't even try to figure me out - as soon as you think you have me figured out, I will explode your thesis with a new brand of crazy. Just ask my husband.
As a young bride I often did the comparison game with other wives. Many times with wives who had years of experience behind them. The comparison was foolish, but I am.... crazy. Then as a mom the game started again. As a professional? Yep, you guessed it. I am certain I am not the only one. If so, I am talking to myself I assume - that is a WHOLE other level of crazy.
So what to do? EMBRACE THE CRAZY. That's right - roll in it like a pig in mud. Lavish the crazy upon yourself and cry out to the world - I am loony! And I love it!
And then.. admit it. When you go a bit off the deep end and unintentionally show your crazy underneath it all - admit it. Apologize when necessary, and be wiling to laugh at yourself when that is the right thing to do. Most of all, the grace you give yourself - give it away to the other crazy ones in your life.
This is the time of year where all teachers everywhere are barely holding their crazy in. It has been a long year and the self-control to act normal is losing the battle. What if everyone knew the real you? The you that over analyzes things. The you that thinks irrational thoughts. The you that has irrational dreams and expectations. What if everyone saw you for who you really are?
Well then, you wouldn't then have to work so hard to pretend to be normal. After all, what is normal? I do not know anyone normal. Maybe my definition is off? Is there a community standard we can all agree on to give us a barometer for normal? Maybe crazy is the community standard. Oh for shame, if so. We would all be running around without masks being transparent. Who would want that? Don't we love the cruel game of guessing what another person's expectations are of you and then working hard to be that? It is a lovely game. One we most often get so very wrong. It is like we are all hunting normal.
But I believe normal may be just like Bigfoot and the Lochness Monster. Is it really there? If we spend all of our time searching for it - are we then like those crazies who are tracking Bigfoot? Oh dear me, say it isn't so.
So here is to crazy. In each and every one of us. Let's laugh at it and move forward. Maybe - just maybe - if we embrace our own brand of crazy we give permission to others in our lives to let down their guard. Have true friendships, true prayer partners, and true relationships. Who could believe that embracing our crazy would be God honoring? I believe it could. But why are you listening to me - I am crazy.
I am crazy, she is crazy, wouldn't YOU like to be a little crazy too?
